Things I Learned This Summer- Part 1 of 756

I think it is finally time to talk about my summer and all the wonderful (and sometimes painful) lessons I learned. I know there has been quite a bit of speculation and questions about my "Pity Party" post, and I am feeling like it is time to talk a little about that, and mainly to discuss what I have learned.
    I take things really personally. I mean, an "unfriend" on Facebook can ruin an entire afternoon (even if this is a person I haven't talked to in years!). Criticism of any kind stresses me out. Years ago, when I was dealing with some kind of criticism in a program I was directing and very upset about it, a pastor gave me some great advice. If you are receiving criticism, it is constructive ONLY if you can do something about the concern. If there is nothing you can actually do about what someone else is telling you, it is basically BITCHING, and you have to let it go. It is their problem, not yours.
    So, during one of our kid's programs this summer, there was a disagreement with a parent. She and her child believed he should be allowed to sing something one way, and the directing staff felt pretty strongly he should sing it a different way. Who was right in this situation is not really the point (especially because the show was completed a month ago). The point is this: things got ugly, and some unfortunate things were said on both sides.
    What I learned:
          1. The main criticism the parent kept repeating was that our staff (and specifically I) did not have the training and education to tell her son how to sing. The situation is that this person did not actually know about my background, the course work and master classes I have taken. I got really defensive for no reason. I cannot argue with someone who chooses to believe things about me that aren't true. Saying that I do not have education when I do is not constructive nor should it bother me. I have to get better about letting things go and not getting so anxious and angry about opinions I cannot change.
          2. Worry about yourself- I got way too angry. I did not handle myself with the professionalism and respect I expect of myself. I also did not empathize with a person who is a mother, and no matter my opinion of her position, she was doing what she felt was right. Had I taken a second to make sure she understood she was heard (that doesn't mean I have to agree with her), I could have quickly de-escalated the situation, and probably had a more favorable outcome for everyone.
    Please understand that I am not advocating becoming a doormat with these lessons. Rather, I am simply reminding myself that the only thing I can control in any given situation is my actions and reactions, and in this particular life-test, I failed miserably at the things I value the most. (To be continued. . .)